About the amazing effect of Scott Peck's recommendations.
We experience it all too often: in our conversations, thoughts that pop up from the ego box of the mind usually come to the fore.
As a result, we often talk past each other. And even more rarely do we touch our counterparts at the level of the soul.
But there is another way. Almost automatically, if we follow certain recommendations in our communication.
The author of recommendations is the American Scott Peck. Exploring community has been the theme of his life ...
Why am I writing about this here on the blog? Because these recommendations are very beneficial. They enable us to treat each other authentically, honestly and with respect. And that simply does everyone involved a lot of good.
From pseudo to real community in two days
It's been a few years, but my memory of this seminar for "Community Building according to Scott Peck" is still very vivid: We are 22 interested people who have never met before. A two-day discussion group should lead us through 4 phases of community building:
- Pseudo phase: "Beep beep beep - we all love each other"
- Chaos phase: Wanting to convince each other
- Emptiness: letting go of the will to convince
- Real, authentic community
Susanne and Gerhard, who are our leaders, content themselves with mentioning these phases and the Communication Recommendations, which remain visible on large posters. They dispense with a theory block and ask us to get started. Somehow. Just talk to each other, get in touch.
The leaders stay completely out of it.
On both days, Susanne and Gerhard do without any guidance and we are completely on our own. They only give us a little feedback two or three times as to which phase we are currently in.
Nevertheless, on the second day we noticeably achieve the realization of authentic, genuine community. And as absolute newcomers, we did this completely without any guidance!
In the following I describe the most amazing impressions for me.
An "ugly" person is suddenly beautiful.
Right at the beginning, a woman asks me to remove a scented lamp to whose scented oil she is sensitive. This woman seems incredibly fat to me, almost as wide as she is long, and I find her "ugly".
But on the second day, after a few communal processes together, my perception changed drastically. I only perceive her as beautiful! A light-filled, beautiful soul that I was allowed to meet. Perhaps this experience is the most impressive of all for me.
On the subject of "loving your body as it is", also read this article.
The clear and subtle effects of the Scott-Peck-recommendations, are very exciting in the course of the seminar. Especially these:
"Speak when you're moved."
We check this again and again: Do I really need to share these thoughts right now? Or is it just my Ego that wants to tell a story?
"Only speak when you are moved." We stick to this - most of the time.
It doesn't take long for me to experience two very strange physical sensations:
Above the neck, i.e. in the head, I feel confusion and inhibited helplessness. In the rest of the body below the neck I feel warm and powerful. Especially in the heart area.
Doesn't the body show me almost perfectly how the forces have shifted? The mind-ego is slowed down and doesn't know how and where it can still contribute. And the soul comes alive and warms up.
We all meet automatically at soul level because of this recommendation. It happens very subtly, almost unnoticed.
I then want to communicate my strange body feeling straight away, but I fail. No one understands what I want to say, how I feel inside. I soon give up without insisting on being understood.
"Don't lecture."
Another scene: In a very authentic and clear way, a man shares with us his deep and resigned sadness at not being able to connect with God. All his efforts so far seem to have been in vain.
A woman then speaks up and gives him advice on how he can easily solve the problem. I notice two things:
Firstly, I immediately feel tired and disinterested when listening to her lecture. At least my soul obviously doesn't want to hear any lectures here.
Secondly, I sense that the man here is probably more connected to God than she is. Because he seems very authentic and completely with himself, while she seems put on. At the same time, I am also very grateful to her for playing this role, because I am no stranger to lecturing. It's good to have it demonstrated so clearly.
These are initially just my subjective perceptions. But others feel the same way. But there are no judgments. It is enough that there is a lack of interest. The conversation simply continues somewhere else, with new dynamism and energy.
Always present - without talking herself.
Towards the end of the seminar Susanne and Gerhard confirm that we have created a field of real community and that we are all in it. One woman, who had not shared anything on either day, also felt clearly in this field and said that she had been very present the whole time.
A group of strangers obviously managed to create an authentic field of genuine community within just two days. And we weren't even in further contact on Saturday evening after the seminar, because we stayed overnight in different places.
A very encouraging result, in my opinion, especially as we were not instructed at all. However, it may not always go so well straight away. Later - in a community in Thuringia - there was initially a half-hour silence during a discussion group. Why? No one felt moved enough to speak up...
Resumé
Over the years, I found myself in many gatherings where people communicated with each other - from soul to soul. For example, during systemic family constellations, where the soul level is at the forefront of the constellation work anyway.
I also always enjoyed being able to honestly share my current feelings and experiences within a larger group of people.
Each time it was evident that such an open and honest exchange is extremely beneficial. And for everyone involved.
Some of the Scott Peck recommendations are an intuitive part of such circles without having to be pointed out. But they are all worth bringing back to our attention.
Our interpersonal communication has lacked a real meeting of minds for too long. Too often it degenerated into a primitive exchange of blows between fighting cocks or top dogs.
At this point, I would like to point out that in the communities I lived in for several years, it was almost exclusively "fighting hens" or female "top dogs" that went at each other. In other words, there was much more fighting between women than between men. That's just a side note.
Living in a community is seen as a fast-track to the goal of self-awareness. This is because there are many more opportunities for experience when many people organize themselves in a small space.
But even in one-to-one encounters, it is more than helpful for me to have Scott Peck's communication recommendations on my screen. With their help, it is easier for us to look at and respect strangers.
What do you think? As always, I appreciate your comment!
These articles fit the topic well: